


I WANT MY ARM ABOUT YOU / THE CHARM ABOUT YOU

by extraops068



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s04e16 On the Head of a Pin, Implied/Referenced Torture, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29486829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extraops068/pseuds/extraops068
Summary: The fear is carving its way back into him. He stares out into the woods, unseeing.“Please, just… Tell me right now if you’re gonna ask me to do anything like that again, man. I can’t- I don’t know if I even walked out of there. I don’t know if I wanna-”(A missing scene post-4x16, in which Castiel tells Dean about Alastair's demise.)
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester
Kudos: 4





	I WANT MY ARM ABOUT YOU / THE CHARM ABOUT YOU

**He is on the ground, and he is on the rack. He is on the knife.**

**He is alive, and he has died a thousand times.**

**A flash, burning his eyes-**

**He is on the ground.** He is only on the ground.

There is dirt beneath his hand.

Dean gasps and twists to his feet, eyes darting but hardly seeing as he gropes for his gun, a knife, anything stashed in his pockets or boots-

“Hello, Dean.”

He lunges at the sound, bare fingers grasping towards-

“Cas?”

“You were dreaming.” Cas’ words, blunt as ever, are something to cling to as the world begins to clear.

He is panting.

“Great- first one of those in a while.”

Dean’s breaths continue to come heavy as the surroundings come into focus. They’re in a forest clearing; the stars blink distantly above, and an uneven smear of wildflowers covers the ground. The night is peaceful, save for the soft gurgling of a creek from just beyond the trees. He trains his ears to pick out anything else- nothing. Slowly, he lowers his hands.

“So this is still a dream, then?”

“I thought this setting would be more… relaxing, yes.”

Dean scoffs. “Sure, if I didn’t know exactly what went bump in the night in dark forests.”

“There is nothing here to hurt you, trust me.”

Dean regards him out of the corner of his eye. He hasn’t moved, hands still in his pockets, frown still fixed on his face. “...Yeah, sure.” He goes back to scoping the area- and finds himself pausing as he realises just how alone they truly are. “No buddies this time?”

“No, it’s just me.”

“What, they haven’t found you a new chaperone since ol’ Uriel checked out? Why are you here?”

The angel, predictably, does not reply, face dark and unreadable despite the bright moon above.

Dean huffs. “Great, good talk. Well, I’m happy to call us even on the whole, y’know, everything. So unless you have something for me, you can go.” He turns away, hopes Cas can’t see he’s still slightly out of breath. He tries focusing on the new dream instead.

It’s a nice night. Dean wonders if Cas came up with it himself, or if he’d drawn on something from Dean’s own memories to build it. He’d probably had to get out the magic eraser for any number of things that should stay dead. Dean wishes he hadn’t kept the wind that chills through him.

His ears prick up at footsteps behind him, somewhat shocked to realise that, for once, Cas is still around. He finds the angel’s expression no less troubled than before, bordering on something close to frustration. Castiel works his mouth a few times, as if his next words are a mystery even to him. “As I told you- they don’t tell me much. But I,” he pauses, takes another step closer. “Dean, I- I could tell you what I saw, after you passed out. Your brother-”

He feels a flash of anger, unsure where the sentence is headed. “What did you-”

“Dean, listen. Sam was the one who killed Alastair.”

Of all the sentences he had expected to hear, it wasn’t that one. It sends dread spiralling uncertainly into the pit of his stomach as Cas continues.

“After he escaped, Alastair… he, uh, almost overcame me. As you know, he was incredibly strong. But your brother- he destroyed him. It was over quick.”

“ _Sam_ did? But-”

“Dean. I’m sorry, but your brother’s powers- they are unholy. And far stronger than any demon’s I’ve seen.”

They fall into silence, Dean’s mind going crushingly numb. He rubs vacantly at his eye, where in the waking world he has a massive bruise still turning a sickened yellow. He half-wishes Cas had left it there, for something that makes perfect sense.

His words are on auto-pilot. “How?”

“I don’t know.”

He snarls, the response triggering a snap in him. “Stop fucking _lying_ , Cas! I’m sick of hearing nothing else!”

“Dean, believe me, if I knew-”

Dean actually laughs in his face, jagged as a saw. “Yeah, and I bet all your guys are placing their own bets in the meantime, huh.”

“Yes. But I would tell you.” Cas has crowded further into his space, eyes lit up strikingly blue by the moon above. Dean grimaces and steps away.

“God dammit. Why?”

Cas tips his head to one side. “I cannot say I understand why your brother would go against our advice-”

“No, I mean, why would you bother to tell me all this?”

With a glance, he is pinned. As always, Dean is unable to stop from feeling like he needs to crawl his way out from beneath those eyes. Like an itch that needs scratching. But then (all too suddenly, he thinks) Cas has released him, his gaze drifting out somewhere to his left, expression set and serene.

“I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.”

Silence. Cas looks over at him, somewhat expectantly; he must be disappointed by Dean’s raised eyebrow and confused expression. “...That’s from John’s writings.” He says, as if that makes everything crystal.

“Yeah, thanks for clearing that up.” Dean sighs, rubbing at his face. But the implications of the passage weigh on him, feels it drop into his stomach and continue onward. Again, it’s like he can’t stop his own words from escaping, like things inside him keep breaking apart. “...I don’t know what to do, man.”

And ain’t that the bitch of it?

For a few seconds, Cas’ frown returns. But then, like a shroud descending, the distant, reverent expression returns. “Have faith, Dean. What is meant to be will come to pass, for our Father is surely pleased-”

“Ok, can we cut the crap for once?” Cas blinks. “How do you know if he’s happy with me, huh? Did he tell you that one himself? Or did some other mook just pass you a note?”

There is nothing tranquil about Cas’ face any longer. “I’ve told you, it’s not about ‘knowing’, it’s _belief_ that you-”

“And I told _you_ , I don’t want anything to do with this! What if I’m sick of cleaning up everybody else’s mess, huh?”

He hates Cas for the way his mouth sets, for the challenge in the look he levels at him.

“ _Damn it!_ ”

Dean paces, his breath coming in short gasps again, his hands forming tight fists over and over. It’s a while before the angel speaks once more.

“...Again, I am sorry, Dean. And, uh, for what it’s worth, I shouldn’t have-”

Dean stops and looks back at him.

“...I am sorry for being the one to ask you to handle Alastair. And for not keeping a closer eye on the trap.”

“Yeah, whatever. Sounds like he had you on the ropes, anyway.”

“Still. I wish I could’ve stopped it.”

The fear is carving its way back into him. He stares out into the woods, unseeing.

“Please, just… Tell me right now if you’re gonna ask me to do anything like that again, man. I can’t- I don’t know if I even walked out of there. I don’t know if I wanna-”

He comes to with a gasp, unsure how long he’s been gone. Cas is nowhere to be seen.

“Son of a _bitch_.”

Beyond the trees, nothing waits.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Max and especially my lovely wife for beta-ing this for me <3


End file.
